Mailbag

TK has some questions:

Been following your blog for a while – finally decided to catch up from the beginning (I’m up to March 2013). You’ve been helpful in so many ways, and you’re a great writer, so thank you. I have two questions – if you have a moment to respond, I’d really appreciate it. You answered a question about the MM a few months ago, so we will be buying a new device in the next few weeks. However, it’s cold here (North East) – but I noticed you’re in MN – so my first question – how do you wear any of your devices when it’s this cold out ? My testicles recede so far into my body when it’s 5 degrees out, it’s like they’re up by my neck somewhere. I’m terrified of trying that while wearing the device.

Usually not a problem for me. I’m rarely out for more than a little bit without underwear or normal pants (like to drag the trash to the curb or whatever) and can only think of a few times when the boys tried to crawl up inside me and were thwarted by the steel ring. However, I can also say that being locked up for so many years now that my ball sack is much looser than it used to be. That might have something to do with it. Without a device on, I’m just about as far away from “high and tight” as a guy can get. Occupational hazard, I guess.

My advice is to make sure you’re in underwear (layers help with warmth) and thicker material pants until you’ve figured out how you’re going to react.

Second question (related) is what you do about pants while wearing the device. I’ve slowly been weaned off of baggy (i.e. comfortable) clothing in favor of tight jeans (part of our dynamic revolves around my wardrobe) – I’m not sure how I’d wear the device for any extended period in jeans. Right now, it’s a nighttime only device, and only during certain times of the month.

Skinny jeans and a chastity device you don’t want people to see don’t mix. Also, there’s a definite comfort issue. Not all are created the same, though. I could probably easily wear the Looker 02 in tight pants without too much trouble. The Steelheart would end up crushing my nuts flat. And, you know, there’s the stealth question. You don’t say what device you’re going to get, but a standard CB-6000 would stand out quite visibly. If making your condition obvious to passers by is also part of your dynamic, then score! If not, you may want to look into some looser clothing, for the sake of your modesty and your anatomy.

Doug asks:

Hi, I’ve been following your blog for some time now and usually check daily for updates.

Bless you.

I’m a young, single, gay male with an interest in chastity.

FUCK, that’s so hot to me. Why is that so hot?

I’ve locked for a few days at a time in a cb6000s over the past couple years and enjoy the intense horniness and frustration and all that comes with being locked and denied.

Almost three weeks ago I purchased a Jailbird knockoff, locked my penis in it and gave the keys to a friend. This week and today in particular I have been horny to the point of continual distraction. I have to admit that I have a love/hate relationship with it and I want to continue and stay locked and denied for a few months or so.

The love/hate thing is awesome, isn’t it? I think it is. Clawing at the cage wanting what’s inside but not being able to get at it. Lovely.

After reading your posts on That Little Cupid Prick, I thought I’d drop you a line (sorry this is becoming so lengthy) to ask how you manage the intense, distracting horniness. I had trouble getting anything accomplished at work today because of it. I only expect the horniness to continue and grow over time (which I want, btw :) ) but need to learn how to deal with it. I’m sure part of it is just the nature of the beast and I have to deal with it. Do you have any tips or thoughts?

Regarding the distraction thing, all I can say is it gets better. At first, it’s really hard to concentrate. How long will it take to get to a manageable place? Hard to say. We’re all different. The good news is, it isn’t an ever-upwards ramp into the heavens. Eventually, your hormones will plateau and even fluctuate downward from time to time. Those days aren’t any fun, either, but for a different reason. Also, the first week or two are always the worst.

I could tell you to stop looking at things like this blog which only feed your fevered sexual state. Stay off the Tumblr, etc. But I know you won’t because I’ve been there (am almost always there) and you’re going to do what you’re going to do. You could try channeling that energy into other physical activity. Use your powers for good, so to speak, while you wait for the initial rush of hormones to wash through you.

Chas inquires:

I’ve been wearing a CB6000s on and off for 2 plus years and my wife has decided that its time to upgrade to steel due to aesthetics, hygiene, comfort and hopefully long term 24/7 wear. Even with extensive rounding of the 6s base ring I develop a nasty sore spot on my upper right side (my right side definitely hangs higher than the left. Day to day this irritation is minimal and keeping it lubricated goes a long way towards preventing it. The problem is nocturnal erections where I wake up with an attempted raging hardon and it backs up in my body and the A ring is deeply dug in as the whole package is being pushed away from my body.

BEEN THERE. I really grew to hate that fucking ring. I had exactly the same issue as you in exactly the same spot.

We are planning on ordering from Mature Metal with my wife leaning towards the Queens keep or the Jailbird.  My question is regarding the tube length. MM and I believe you recommend have a tube length that is shorter than your flaccid length. My thinking is the shorter length is going to make the pulling and resulting digging of the ring that much worse. Also do you have any recommendations as to the ring thickness (Double ring?) in terms of comfort and or minimizing irritation. Any guidance or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I think it should minimally be the same length as your flaccid state, erring on the short side, yes. It seems counterintuitive but, in my experience, creating more room in the tube leads to a greater degree of discomfort. As if letting the penis achieve partial erection and then stopping it hurts more than forcing it to stay at its normal soft state. Yes, that will lead to pulling. No doubt about it. But that’ll happen anyway and won’t be nearly as uncomfortable in a smooth, rounded steel ring as it is in the torture device otherwise known as the CB-6000 A-ring. Assuming the ring is sized right, it’s actually a feeling I really enjoy. (Another benefit of a shorter tube is easier concealment and lighter weight.)

Regarding Mature Metal’s ring, I do recommend the double thick option. Their rings are a narrower gauge than Steelworxx and I found them to be a bit more biting. Doubling the ring thickness added a lot of comfort. Don’t forget to add the thickness of the extra ring to the overall length of the device.

PS How is your book writing coming along? I look forward to reading it.

Ah, yes. That.

My feeling now is I’m not going to write a book, per se, but publish a series of long articles here on the blog. That way, I could kick them out in a more serialized fashion. Instead of charging for a book download, I’ll likely create some way for those interested to optionally toss a few shekels my way. Like a tip jar. Also, my work style is much more collaborative than solo, so I’d like to garner feedback from my readers as to what topics the “book” should cover. Something to help me devise a structure for the thing.

Before I wrap, I’ll highlight a couple of great things I came across recently. First is a Tumblr called Erotic Drawings. Men In Bondage filled with original pen and pencil sketches of…well, men in bondage (having been put there by other men). It’s really beautiful work. Even though they’re drawn in a rushed and somewhat crude style you still get a sense of emotion and can empathize with the guys tied up. Woof.

Second thing is an episode of a podcast I’ve just found. The show’s called Men Submit and the episode in question is number nine on — what else? — chastity. Listening to them, I found myself nodding my head in familiar agreement half the time and wanting to butt in to build on or clarify a point the other half. I enjoyed the conversation and only wish it could have been longer. Regular readers of this blog should check it out.

That’s all I got for now. If you have a question or comment or other morsel of communicative goodness you want to pass my way, don’t forget about the feedback page.